My ex-girlfriend says I can’t see our baby, as I don’t have parental responsibility. Is this true?

Not necessarily. If the child was born after 1 st December 2003, and you are registered as (and shown on the birth certificate as) the father, you now automatically have parental responsibility. If the child was born before that date, or you weren’t registered as the father, you would not have automatic parental responsibility, because you and the mother were not married – however, you could acquire it by specific written agreement with her, or by way of an order of the Court under the Children Act 1989. The Court may also make an order permitting contact between you and the child, provided it considers this to be in the best interest of the child (which it normally would, except in certain unusual circumstances).

I have been living with my boyfriend for six months – does that mean we are common-law husband and wife?

No. The concept of common law spouses is a myth. However long you’ve been living together, you have the same legal rights you would have if you had been living with a friend, or even a stranger.

I want to divorce my husband – can you tell me the sort of financial settlement I will receive?

It’s impossible to answer a question like this, except in general terms, until financial disclosure has taken place. The Court’s approach is to divide assets fairly (which doesn’t necessarily mean equally), according to various guidelines laid down in legislation.

Can I get a divorce on the grounds of irretrievable breakdown?

Irretrievable breakdown is the basis for all divorces, but it is not itself a ground for divorce. It has to be proven by establishing one of the five grounds - which are adultery, unreasonable behaviour, two years separation, desertion, or five years separation.

What are my legal rights in relation to seeing my children?

The general view is that a child has a right to a relationship with both parents. What type of contact you have – and how often – will be decided by considering the circumstances of the case and the best interests of the child. Only in rare and exceptional circumstances would a Court decide that a parent should have no contact with their child. If contact cannot be agreed between the parents, the Court will intervene and make orders setting out what contact should take place.

How long does it take to get divorced?

It varies. If there are no complications, a divorce can sometimes be concluded within four to six months - but it can take longer. For example, one spouse may refuse to return the necessary paperwork to the Court, confirming that they do not intend to defend the divorce. If this happens, it will be necessary to prove to the Court that they have been served with the divorce papers, which may take some time. Another reason for delay is that it’s sensible to wait until the financial issues have been resolved before applying for decree absolute. In some cases, this can take several months.

I have separated from my spouse but I don’t want to get divorced just now. Can I get a legal separation?

If you want to separate without getting divorced, there are two different ways of formalising it:-

• You can seek a judicial separation. This involves a decree being pronounced by the Court in a process similar to divorce - unlike divorce, though, it does not actually dissolve the marriage. The advantage is that, if you issue judicial separation proceedings, the Court has the power to make orders about financial matters (which it could not do without divorce or judicial separation proceedings being started).
• Alternatively, if you have resolved all your financial issues, you can enter into a separation agreement with your spouse. This would involve drawing up a legal deed of separation, setting out the terms of your agreement, until such time as you decided to get divorced.

Can I change the childrens’ surnames?

Yes – provided you have permission from anyone who has parental responsibility for them. In other words, you could change your children’s surnames without seeking permission from an unmarried father who doesn’t have parental responsibility. However, the Courts tend to frown on mothers who do this in cases where the father plays an active role in the children’s lives. The father can, in some circumstances, make an application for the name to be changed back.

My husband has moved out of our home. Can I change the locks?

Not if the property is owned by you both in joint names, as your husband still has the right to live there. You could only have the locks changed if the Court ordered ownership of the house to pass to you.

My husband and I are separating. Can I go back to using my maiden name?